The Strange New Product Protecting Your Makeup From Deadly Showers

Fear not, face full of makeup; showers are no longer your nemesis.

There’s nothing worse than needing a shower but wanting to preserve your makeup/eyelash extensions/microbladed brow/rhinoplasty/fresh horn implants. Baths take too long and if you live in an apartment hopping into your kitchen sink is very awkward and definitely puts too much weight on the countertop, causing your sink to collapse and shoot water to the ceiling – it’s a renter’s nightmare.

Fear not, the Shower Shield is here and it’s going to deliver as promised: it will shield your face from the shower.

Look at it go.

You simply wrap the Velcro visor strap around your noggin and you’re set to wash your hair without turning into a panda. Very. Exciting. Stuff.

Soon this will be a thing of the past.

Now, I will point out – babies have been onto this for years and have used shampoo visors to protect their delicate baby eyes (back in my day we let the shampoo sting ours unlike today’s snowflakes who are pathetically bypassing having chemicals poured directly into theirs), and finally there is a far more adult and classy version. Full disclosure, I usually wear a welding mask in the shower to avoid incidents such as these, so I’m thrilled I can finally hang up the mask and try a far more suitable approach.

I’m also excited to be able to whack the shower shield over my face, put a shower cap over my hair, and wash ONLY my body – I’ll finally get to experience what it would be like to effectively unscrew my head, order my bod in and out of the shower, and screw it back on; it’s a modern woman’s dream.

At just over $20AUD it’s also not going to break the bank. I’m thinking of ordering five so I can also wrap it around each limb and FINALLY wash just my torso (I’ve been drawing up some map tattoo trials à la that woman in Waterworld with a map on her back – mine’s going to lead to my favorite tire fire).

I am woman, hear me do a muffled roar through a shower shield.